Throughout my years in Elementary School and upwards, I always had an interest in being closer to God (Allah). I felt like I was far from Him but did not know the way to Him. My parents, Alhamdulillah, were practising—they were praying and fasting—but the issue was that there was no Islamic knowledge being taught (which I craved). I prayed regularly but wanted to learn more about Allah and His laws.

It wasn’t until Middle School, where I was exposed to Muslims my age and English Islamic information. It was that time that I saw hijabis my age for the first time and was able to get an English Quran that I could understand. I loved the Quran as it explained many things and put my heart and soul to ease. It was that time that I wanted to practice Islam more and understand it and be a better Muslim female.

I was open to different Islamic views for a while. I questioned some and left some and soon after my parents ordered me to wear hijab. I did not understand the meaning of hijab and was at the rebelling stage in my life. I did not understand the reason why I would have to wear hijab in High School. My parents told me that I have to wear hijab in the US, but if I were back in their Arab country, I would not be required to wear it. But why? I did not understand the cultural aspects of hijab that I was ordered to follow.

 It wasn’t until Allah’s guidance during High School when I became a Shia Muslim, that my faith became completed. I saw that Islam was the meaning and truth behind everything. All the rules of Islam made sense when culture and fabrications were taken out. I fell in love with purity—like that of that Ahlulbayt and following Allah’s laws. I took Sayyeda Fatima and Sayyeda Zainab as my role models, knowing that they are infallible women that can be followed. I tried to follow them in their knowledge and also in their chastity. I did my best to stay away from those that harmed the Ahlulbayt and their nature. Hence, implementing the Fatimi hijab was more important to me than implementing the cultural-fashion hijab.