Religion wasn’t a strong element of my upbringing. I was taught right from wrong; however, I never had a strong connection or understanding of my faith. Until a certain age, I didn’t even know hijab was wajib! My primary exposure was the bits and pieces my mother taught me, and the Saturday school lessons I attended for a year at ten (which was very basic).

I suffered a lot throughout my childhood, from anxiety and OCD. So, I guess it wouldn’t be surprising that I’m the type to be curious, question and reflect as well as overthink. As I grew older, I gathered and understood that hijab was wajib.

At one point, my brother turned more towards religion and tried to encourage me to wear it; however, my heart wasn’t ready to accept this. Further down the track, I started to question life and my purpose here and feel inadequate with how I was living life. I knew I needed to wear hijab to fix this. Eventually, I started to speak to an Islamic account on social media about my concerns regarding hijab. This individual helped me dramatically to identify my inability to wear hijab was based primarily on worldly attachment and nothing more. I then began my journey of accepting the truth and started my detachment.

My journey of detachment pre-hijab included:

• Deleting all my non-hijabi pictures off social media
• Starting an Islamic social media account
• I stopped listening to music, and I can’t stress how much this helped
• I would attend the Islamic centre here and there
• I would mentally combat my concerns with logical explanations to detach from world desires
• I finally decided that I wanted to wear hijab.

At the age of 15, I left the house for the first time with hijab. Eventually, I had more exposure to different pieces of information regarding Sayeda Zahraa and her hijab via social media. I started to desire her hijab and was intrigued. Eventually, things changed several years on. I went from pants and a long top to dresses and skirts to wearing a black abaya. I now wear an abaya Zaynabiya and have been wearing it for over two years. I’m still far from perfect but hopefully through the grace of God all of us can improve towards the one who epitomises hijab of Al Zahraa ع